I recently heard a caller on the Dr. Laura show. This young man had been married for 4 years . He and his wife have been separated for six months due to his anger outburst and verbal abuse. His wife asked him to go to couples counseling which he did. After meeting with the counselor for couple of weeks, the recommendation was made for him to enter individual counseling to help with his anger issues. He did and he said to Dr. Laura “I have identified areas in my life and I’ve worked very hard to make changes.” And after six months, his wife is refusing to talk with him. He said “She acts like she does not want anything to do with me, like she does not even want to give me a chance to show her I've changed.”
Dr Laura’s response was profound to me. She told him “There is nothing you can do!” I thought to myself how can that be true? She went on to say “You can never rise above someone’s assumption of you.” And in this case the wife is not willing to let go of her assumption and therefore, there is nothing you can to do change that inside of a person.
I then reflected over my life. How many times have I assumed my husband would forget the bread that I asked him to pick up on his way home from work? How many times did I set people up for failure under my assumptions? In these few moments, I experienced and life time of change. I realized that in my assumptions, I forfeit grace and mercy. I forfeit living in the moment. I forfeit giving the benefit of the doubt. I forfeit fellowship and sharing warm fuzzy feelings with my man! This is a price I no longer want to pay. Therefore, I release my assumptions of others and I let go of trying to correct others assumptions of me. Because just as “Mother Laura: stated there is nothing I can do about it anyway.
Blessings on your day!
ENLIGHTENED By The Lord